I come from a religious tradition and schools that value inclusive language. I pride myself on religious and non-religious language that thinks about the possibilities and works to include them. Your wedding must include your intentions to get married and a pronouncement of your marriage but everything else is up to us. I use the pronouns and words for your fiancee that tell me to use. If something doesn’t fit you as individuals or your relationship, we can change it. If you have concerns about what I’ll say or even if you just want to know what happens during the wedding ceremony, I’m happy to talk you through the wedding and after retainer to give you a draft of your ceremony.
COVID-19 has helped us all realize what is most important to us. An elopement or microwedding is not less than a venue wedding. In fact, it’s more. It’s more intimate and it’s most definitely about those getting married.. These two lovely people allowed me to preside at their wedding in an idyllic spot. While both partners have very busy academic and professional schedules, it was easy to carve out time for this wedding and zoom pre-marital sessions. This was before I had figured socially distanced childcare out and they allowed my children to sit at a nearby park bench during the wedding.
Wedding of Fox and Hare was on a Sunday afternoon in February. It was a surprisingly hot sunny day with clear skies, right after the harshest of winter storms in 40 decades. The original date – valentine’s day would have been during a huge snowstorm storm, we re-shuffled the day because of the weather. They chose Valentine’s because Hare had Monday off work so they’d have a nice long weekend together.
The photographer chose a spot just below the park pavilion with trees as the background. It was near the street and one truck rolled down their windows to watch. Several people from the nearby parks watched as well. They were all respectful and didn’t shout or honk and just proceeded along their way or with their own business after the bouquet toss. They picked the location because it is one of the many spots in the city that Grey knows well.
10-12 guests some in fur suits and some without. Melissa asked guests to affirm their marriage and promise to support them by by either saying “We will” or to give their “awoo”.
The couple communicated online and met at a furry con. They have shared their lives together and have done much to benefit the greater Dallas community together. Hare shared that Fox took care of him when his paw was injured. Scottie Fox shared that Grey took care of her when she was sick. Their visions for their wedding were to be at con but they know this might not be the year that could happen due to COVID. They knew it was time to make it legal and couldn’t wait for their dream ceremony. Though it wasn’t what they initially planned, we were still able to make it special. This was their nice outdoor microwedding with a small group of the community.
Scottie Fox (she/her) shared “There’s a very large community of furries in Dallas . We have over 200 active furries just in the Dallas area and many many more that don’t go to our local monthly events . We have a convention once a year downtown that brings in furries across the country and the world . Our furry con is the 5th largest in the world . “
I used one of my inclusive ceremonies that I have pre-written. These ceremonies are suitable for people of all genders, religions as well as atheists. I use what I learn from our pre-martial discussions to add, subtract, exchange or move around certain elements to fit the unique people getting married and their relationship. The couple wrote their own vows where they promised to take care of each other and love each other forever.
Fox’s paws were too big for traditional wedding rings. The two brought a beautiful silver chain which Hare delicately looped around Fox’s arm and then his own arm somewhat like a handfasting.
There were tears during the ceremony. After I pronounced them as married, instead of saying you may now kiss .. I said you may now boop noses and “awoo”. I had practiced my awoo which I planned to came out sounding like a wolf even though I forgot that I would be wearing a Neko (lucky cat) COVID mask.
We snapped a photo together. After the boutique toss. I signed their marriage license on-site so the photographer could get a picture. We also utilized the two optional witness signature lines on the marriage license. Hare had several photo locations he had thought through. I said congratulations and goodbye then quietly departed so that they could get more pictures and celebrate with their friends.
I do quick make it legal ceremonies in the Burleson, TX area but I do think ceremonies are important. Every wedding is important and special. These two wonderful men have been together sixteen years. They unfortunately had to re-schedule their original date but I am so glad they called me again. We still were able to have a touching ceremony in Old Towne Burleson.
Glad to be among the top 10 handpicked editor’s choice for Fort Worth Texas on WeddingRule.com.
In March 2019, a lot of us re-evaluated and recognized the importance of the relationships most dear to us. Some people decided to take the next step in their relationship and make it legal by getting married. Other people postponed their big weddings and opted for something with less guests. That does not mean that their wedding days were any less important. Some of my favorite weddings were just those tying the knot for an intimate special moment. I had several couples who found one extra way to make their wedding special. For Las Colinas couple, one of the brides was from another part of the country and flew to get the marriage license, stay at an amazing hotel and have a great dinner together after their zoom wedding. Of my near the river couples, they went two different ways to include family. One broadcast their wedding on facebook live with one guest to hold the camera, decorations included beautiful flowers, signs and table cloths. The other couple, had their immediate family in person and on live video while pronounced spouse and spouse. For McKinney Falls couple, one of the brides arrived by limo and waited at the tops of the falls for her bride to arrive with their best friends and a sibling. For Lake Cliff park couple, the two grooms arrived with their nearest and dearest including their dog. Noisemakers and non-alcoholic champagne followed their pronouncement as husband and husband. Several brides and grooms have had big blow out weddings in their backyard with minor adjustments including significantly reducing their guest lists. I will be highlighting these couples. Please let me know if you would like your wedding highlighted.
Here’s the scoop on wedding rehearsal and commitment ceremony rehearsals: Who Runs it? It sort of depends so check with your officiant and coordinator to see if it’s included in their services. In general, the officiant is in charge of the ceremony rehearsal because they know worship order but they are in the wrong place in the room to cue people during processional (coming in) you’ll need a coordinator or an assertive friend for that part if the venue doesn’t provide a coordinator to help. The rehearsal is often a coordinated effort between the officiant and coordinator. The coordinator is going to be able to help with where everyone stands, what moment during the music people enter etc that the officiant can’t see or do from their location in the room. Coordinators and planners also have ideas about details and perspective that simply won’t be on the officiant’s radar. Still the officiant knows the tone and flow of the overall ceremony. It’s their show so to speak.
How long? About 15-20 minutes, but allow up to 30 minutes if there’s a large wedding party. What happens? Everyone finds out where they stand. Go thru the major parts of the ceremony. Not the details though, you want to save that for the wedding day. Practice recessional (going out). Then practice processional (coming in). Then the end. Repeat. Then you’re off to your rehearsal dinner.
I had a great conversation with Gil from https://yourlovestorywedding.com/ . Take a look I love how transparent his inclusion is on the website.
I celebrated the formal union of a bi-national couple who long ago declared their intention to marry. Their family of choice enclosed them in love as they stood outside the courthouse. Putting that marriage license in the mail was a wonderful feeling.